Wednesday, June 07, 2006
The Mark of the Beast...
DOES exist. I now have it on MY flesh. Courtesy of your friendly (I mean) EVIL neighborhood Chewie cat!
Exhibit A:
Silently he sits...and waits. For what, you ask? For some tasty human flesh to walk by so he can pounce!
Exhibit B:
Yeah, see those four red marks on the back of my calf? (Sorry for the weird angle, its hard to take a picture of your own leg) I made the mistake of walking past him in the dark last night and was rewarded for my treachery with these fancy markings.
I knew I should have sacrificed him before midnight last night, but alas, I did not. So, sorry. I think I may have single-handedly brought down the prophecy of the end of the world. Because my cat IS the Antichrist.
Now before you guys say "Why do you keep him, then?" because of all this, just know that about 15% of the time he is VERY sweet, and I know that he just can't help himself sometimes. He has corners of the house that are "his" and we are entering at our own risk if we cross them while he is waiting. And he does KNOW he's being bad, I just think he has a switch in his brain and once its flipped there isn't any going back until the deed is done. Also, I don't think ANYONE else would treat him the way we do. I think someone else would seriously hurt this cat because of all the crap he pulls. And I do love him, he's just a grumpy old man stuck in a cat's body and he's pissed about it. Plus we do our share of bad things to him by accident too, so its just a vicious cycle of payback in the Hall house.
The other night I was having a nightmare and I woke up and Chewie was in bed with us and I grabbed him around the neck and almost choked him to death...he kept perfectly still until I woke up because I think he realized that retaliation was a one way ticket to kitty heaven for him. And he was nice to me for the rest of the weekend. So its give and take with him.
Unlike Fizzgig who's just sunshine and rainbows all the time and is on constant alert that we are going to, one day, snap and kill her. At least that's what I think is going on in her mind.
In other news, thanks to Lori for the super (if not entirely un-cryptic) secret info, I now have 2 tickets to the Ladytron show at the Gypsy Tea Room in Dallas in October! WOOT! So I didn't have to go to New York or Austin to see them, 'cause they are coming to the Big D! These next few months can't go by fast enough, I'm telling you.
Exhibit A:
Silently he sits...and waits. For what, you ask? For some tasty human flesh to walk by so he can pounce!
Exhibit B:
Yeah, see those four red marks on the back of my calf? (Sorry for the weird angle, its hard to take a picture of your own leg) I made the mistake of walking past him in the dark last night and was rewarded for my treachery with these fancy markings.I knew I should have sacrificed him before midnight last night, but alas, I did not. So, sorry. I think I may have single-handedly brought down the prophecy of the end of the world. Because my cat IS the Antichrist.
Now before you guys say "Why do you keep him, then?" because of all this, just know that about 15% of the time he is VERY sweet, and I know that he just can't help himself sometimes. He has corners of the house that are "his" and we are entering at our own risk if we cross them while he is waiting. And he does KNOW he's being bad, I just think he has a switch in his brain and once its flipped there isn't any going back until the deed is done. Also, I don't think ANYONE else would treat him the way we do. I think someone else would seriously hurt this cat because of all the crap he pulls. And I do love him, he's just a grumpy old man stuck in a cat's body and he's pissed about it. Plus we do our share of bad things to him by accident too, so its just a vicious cycle of payback in the Hall house.
The other night I was having a nightmare and I woke up and Chewie was in bed with us and I grabbed him around the neck and almost choked him to death...he kept perfectly still until I woke up because I think he realized that retaliation was a one way ticket to kitty heaven for him. And he was nice to me for the rest of the weekend. So its give and take with him.
Unlike Fizzgig who's just sunshine and rainbows all the time and is on constant alert that we are going to, one day, snap and kill her. At least that's what I think is going on in her mind.
In other news, thanks to Lori for the super (if not entirely un-cryptic) secret info, I now have 2 tickets to the Ladytron show at the Gypsy Tea Room in Dallas in October! WOOT! So I didn't have to go to New York or Austin to see them, 'cause they are coming to the Big D! These next few months can't go by fast enough, I'm telling you.
Comments:
<< Home
Thank you thank you.
I guess I should have said somewhere in here that those marks are from one BITE, not scratching.
I guess I should have said somewhere in here that those marks are from one BITE, not scratching.
MREOWRRRR!!! Is what that pic says... Sorry to hear that the Son of Satan resides in your cat... You know as I read this LunchBox entry, I thought to myself, "A feline's attack on Marls' Shaolin Trained Calf should'nt bring about the Apocalypse, should it"??? But, I have noticed a change in Global Weather... It rained more than half the time I was in Puerto Rico, and rained a lot here in Chicago since I've returned home... That's not normal... Wait a minute, what if I'm the Anti-Christ??? The rain did seem to follow me on my trip... Aaaaw Crap...
Tony
P.S. Sorry for the Babblin' Idiocy... I haven't even had my first Cup O' Joe yet...
Tony
P.S. Sorry for the Babblin' Idiocy... I haven't even had my first Cup O' Joe yet...
Well if you are the Anti-Christ come get your spawn, because he keeps knocking over the trash to get at Ben's empty V8 cans.
Post a Comment
<< Home
Archives
December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008